The grandparent effect
Exploring the practical and emotional influence on your life.
The scent of Nana’s perfume, the sound of Grandpa’s laugh...These small sensory memories often leave the deepest impressions on children. Impressions that will last a lifetime. Without question, grandparents hold a cherished place in our lives. While experiences vary, the grandparent-grandchild bond is commonly viewed as one of the most emotionally important relationships, second only to the parent-child relationship.
As we live longer and more actively, becoming a grandparent is more than a milestone; it’s a significant opportunity to fully embrace the role and all it has to offer. Recent research shows the many advantages of grandparenting, from improved cognitive function to increased physical abilities. But, beyond the science is a renewed sense of purpose, a second chance at nurturing tiny humans with the element of additional life experience.
Of course, stepping into this role will require patience and adjustment as you grow alongside your children and grandchildren. Let’s explore what it truly means to be a grandparent – emotionally and practically.
The emotional side
There is a powerful identity shift that happens when moving from the role of parent to grandparent. Most agree that grandparenting is a remarkably different experience; one with more freedom and less pressure. Others may describe it as more fun and less responsibility. It’s a chance to be present so you can focus on creating a loving bond with your grandchild without the stress of discipline.
As a grandparent, you’re no longer the primary caregiver; instead, you become a guiding and supportive figure for your family. This role allows you to build a bond with your grandchildren while nurturing a new dimension of your relationship with your adult children.
While there’s a sense of joy and pride watching your children take on parenthood, it can also stir up other emotions. You might find yourself mourning the loss of the traditional caregiving role you’ve held all these years. But it’s important to acknowledge and understand this dynamic shift so you can help support your adult children in their path to parenting. Keep the lines of communication open and ask how you can best support them. Also, don’t be afraid to tell them how you’ve envisioned your role as a grandparent, so you can work through expectations together.
A grandchild can provide you with emotional fulfillment and a renewed sense of connection, especially at a time in life when adults may experience loneliness. This relationship is mutually beneficial. Not only do grandchildren benefit from having another caring adult in their corner as they grow up, but grandparents find purpose in actively teaching important life lessons. According to a recent study by TheSeniorList.com, grandparents aim to instill respect for others (88%), manners and politeness (85%), independence and self-sufficiency (70%), work ethic (62%) and cultural or family traditions (61%).
Strengthen your bond
With thoughtful intention, you can build a close relationship with your grandkids.
- Host regular video or phone calls to stay connected
- Support their interests by showing up or checking in
- Bond over a shared a hobby, like bowling or puzzles
- Plan regular outings they can count on
- Pass down family stories they can share across generations
The practical side
As it turns out, wisdom and guidance aren’t the only things grandparents are sharing with their grandkids. The same study found that grandparents spend an average of $4,000 a year on common expenditures including gifts for special occasions, clothing and shoes, entertainment (such as toys and movies) and dining out.
You may decide to make your grandchildren a part of your estate plan or even set aside a separate savings account for big milestone expenses like their first car or college tuition. These gestures can be meaningful, but you should consider your own retirement needs before committing to this kind of contribution. After all, only 14% of grandparents who provide monetary assistance believe it significantly impacts their grandchildren’s success. Your love, emotional support and presence prove more valuable than dollars.
There are also many meaningful non-monetary ways to support your grandchildren’s practical needs. If you’re retired or have a flexible schedule, you could offer to pick them up from school once a week or plan a monthly one-on-one outing. After all, these activities offer valuable quality time and a chance to share advice or guidance, which were cited as the most popular non-financial ways to enrich grandkids’ lives.
Studies show there are physical benefits to being a grandparent, too. Older adults who spend time with grandkids tend to be more active, warding off life-shorteners like heart disease and diabetes. In fact, half of grandparents who participated at least occasionally in their grandchildren's lives were more likely to be alive five years later than those who had no involvement.
No matter if they call you Nana or Grammy, Pop or Grandpa, know you’re playing an important role in your grandchildren’s lives – one that will make a lasting impact on their character and leave a legacy worthy of pride.
Sources: Legacy Project, World Humanitarian Movement, Reuters
